Entities:
Oliver
A young woman
The surgeon
The nurse
The workhouse

Text:
CHAPTER I TREATS OF THE PLACE WHERE OLIVER TWIST WAS BORN AND OF THE CIRCUMSTANCES ATTENDING HIS BIRTH Among other public buildings in a certain town , which for many reasons it will be prudent to refrain from mentioning , and to which I will assign no fictitious name , there is one anciently common to most towns , great or small : to wit , a workhouse ; and in this workhouse was born ; on a day and date which I need not trouble myself to repeat , inasmuch as it can be of no possible consequence to the reader , in this stage of the business at all events ; the item of mortality whose name is prefixed to the head of this chapter . For a long time after it was ushered into this world of sorrow and trouble , by the parish surgeon , it remained a matter of considerable doubt whether the child would survive to bear any name at all ; in which case it is somewhat more than probable that these memoirs would never have appeared ; or , if they had , that being comprised within a couple of pages , they would have possessed the inestimable merit of being the most concise and faithful specimen of biography , extant in the literature of any age or country . Although I am not disposed to maintain that the being born in a workhouse , is in itself the most fortunate and enviable circumstance that can possibly befall a human being , I do mean to say that in this particular instance , it was the best thing for Oliver Twist that could by possibility have occurred . The fact is , that there was considerable difficulty in inducing Oliver to take upon himself the office of respiration , -- a troublesome practice , but one which custom has rendered necessary to our easy existence ; and for some time he lay gasping on a little flock mattress , rather unequally poised between this world and the next : the balance being decidedly in favour of the latter . Now , if , during this brief period , Oliver had been surrounded by careful grandmothers , anxious aunts , experienced nurses , and doctors of profound wisdom , he would most inevitably and indubitably have been killed in no time . There being nobody by , however , but a pauper old woman , who was rendered rather misty by an unwonted allowance of beer ; and a parish surgeon who did such matters by contract ; Oliver and Nature fought out the point between them . The result was , that , after a few struggles , Oliver breathed , sneezed , and proceeded to advertise to the inmates of the workhouse the fact of a new burden having been imposed upon the parish , by setting up as loud a cry as could reasonably have been expected from a male infant who had not been possessed of that very useful appendage , a voice , for a much longer space of time than three minutes and a quarter . As Oliver gave this first proof of the free and proper action of his lungs , the patchwork coverlet which was carelessly flung over the iron bedstead , rustled ; the pale face of a young woman was raised feebly from the pillow ; and a faint voice imperfectly articulated the words , ' Let me see the child , and die . ' The surgeon had been sitting with his face turned towards the fire : giving the palms of his hands a warm and a rub alternately . As the young woman spoke , he rose , and advancing to the bed 's head , said , with more kindness than might have been expected of him : ' Oh , you must not talk about dying yet . ' ' Lor bless her dear heart , no ! ' interposed the nurse , hastily depositing in her pocket a green glass bottle , the contents of which she had been tasting in a corner with evident satisfaction . ' Lor bless her dear heart , when she has lived as long as I have , sir , and had thirteen children of her own , and all on 'em dead except two , and them in the wurkus with me , she 'll know better than to take on in that way , bless her dear heart ! Think what it is to be a mother , there 's a dear young lamb do . ' Apparently this consolatory perspective of a mother 's prospects failed in producing its due effect . The patient shook her head , and stretched out her hand towards the child . The surgeon deposited it in her arms . She imprinted her cold white lips passionately on its forehead ; passed her hands over her face ; gazed wildly round ; shuddered ; fell back -- and died . They chafed her breast , hands , and temples ; but the blood had stopped forever . They talked of hope and comfort . They had been strangers too long . ' It 's all over , Mrs. Thingummy ! ' said the surgeon at last . ' Ah , poor dear , so it is ! ' said the nurse , picking up the cork of the green bottle , which had fallen out on the pillow , as she stooped to take up the child . ' Poor dear ! ' ' You need n't mind sending up to me , if the child cries , nurse , ' said the surgeon , putting on his gloves with great deliberation . ' It 's very likely it _ will _ be troublesome . Give it a little gruel if it is . ' He put on his hat , and , pausing by the bed-side on his way to the door , added , ' She was a good-looking girl , too ; where did she come from ? ' ' She was brought here last night , ' replied the old woman , ' by the overseer 's order . She was found lying in the street . She had walked some distance , for her shoes were worn to pieces ; but where she came from , or where she was going to , nobody knows . ' The surgeon leaned over the body , and raised the left hand . ' The old story , ' he said , shaking his head : ' no wedding-ring , I see . Ah ! Good-night ! ' The medical gentleman walked away to dinner ; and the nurse , having once more applied herself to the green bottle , sat down on a low chair before the fire , and proceeded to dress the infant . What an excellent example of the power of dress , young Oliver Twist was ! Wrapped in the blanket which had hitherto formed his only covering , he might have been the child of a nobleman or a beggar ; it would have been hard for the haughtiest stranger to have assigned him his proper station in society . But now that he was enveloped in the old calico robes which had grown yellow in the same service , he was badged and ticketed , and fell into his place at once -- a parish child -- the orphan of a workhouse -- the humble , half-starved drudge -- to be cuffed and buffeted through the world -- despised by all , and pitied by none . Oliver cried lustily . If he could have known that he was an orphan , left to the tender mercies of church-wardens and overseers , perhaps he would have cried the louder . CHAPTER II TREATS OF OLIVER TWIST 'S GROWTH , EDUCATION , AND BOARD For the next eight or ten months , Oliver was the victim of a systematic course of treachery and deception . He was brought up by hand . The hungry and destitute situation of the infant orphan was duly reported by the workhouse authorities to the parish authorities . The parish authorities inquired with dignity of the workhouse authorities , whether there was no female then domiciled in ' the house ' who was in a situation to impart to Oliver Twist , the consolation and nourishment of which he stood in need . The workhouse authorities replied with humility , that there was not . Upon this , the parish authorities magnanimously and humanely resolved , that Oliver should be ' farmed , ' or , in other words , that he should be dispatched to a branch-workhouse some three miles off , where twenty or thirty other juvenile offenders against the poor-laws , rolled about the floor all day , without the inconvenience of too much food or too much clothing , under the parental superintendence of an elderly female , who received the culprits at and for the consideration of sevenpence-halfpenny per small head per week . Sevenpence-halfpenny 's worth per week is a good round diet for a child ; a great deal may be got for sevenpence-halfpenny , quite enough to overload its stomach , and make it uncomfortable . The elderly female was a woman of wisdom and experience ; she knew what was good for children ; and she had a very accurate perception of what was good for herself . So , she appropriated the greater part of the weekly stipend to her own use , and consigned the rising parochial generation to even a shorter allowance than was originally provided for them . Thereby finding in the lowest depth a deeper still ; and proving herself a very great experimental philosopher . Everybody knows the story of another experimental philosopher who had a great theory about a horse being able to live without eating , and who demonstrated it so well , that he had got his own horse down to a straw a day , and would unquestionably have rendered him a very spirited and rampacious animal on nothing at all , if he had not died , four-and-twenty hours before he was to have had his first comfortable bait of air . Unfortunately for , the experimental philosophy of the female to whose protecting care Oliver Twist was delivered over , a similar result usually attended the operation of _ her _ system ; for at the very moment when the child had contrived to exist upon the smallest possible portion of the weakest possible food , it did perversely happen in eight and a half cases out of ten , either that it sickened from want and cold , or fell into the fire from neglect , or got half-smothered by accident ; in any one of which cases , the miserable little being was usually summoned into another world , and there gathered to the fathers it had never known in this . Occasionally , when there was some more than usually interesting inquest upon a parish child who had been overlooked in turning up a bedstead , or inadvertently scalded to death when there happened to be a washing -- though the latter accident was very scarce , anything approaching to a washing being of rare occurrence in the farm -- the jury would take it into their heads to ask troublesome questions , or the parishioners would rebelliously affix their signatures to a remonstrance . But these impertinences were speedily checked by the evidence of the surgeon , and the testimony of the beadle ; the former of whom had always opened the body and found nothing inside ( which was very probable indeed ) , and the latter of whom invariably swore whatever the parish wanted ; which was very self-devotional . Besides , the board made periodical pilgrimages to the farm , and always sent the beadle the day before , to say they were going . The children were neat and clean to behold , when _ they _ went ; and what more would the people have !